| </3 Wasting words on lower cases and capitals... |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
|
| How addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit. |
[14 Dec 2006|07:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none, I have a headache. |
] |
This week has really sucked for me.
But in a weird way it's helped me realize a lot of things.
From Sunday- Tuesday I couldn't eat because on Tuesday I had to go to Fairfax Hospital and get put to sleep and have tests and stuff ran on me.
And before they put me to sleep I had to answer some questions about my habits and lifestyle and stuff like that because it could effect the way the anesthesia reacted on my body.
So that began my whole though process about re-evaluating my decisions.
But ever since Thursday after I did something stupid, my throat has been killing me.
So I've been sick ever since then.
And it sucks cause it's one of those crappy kind of sicks where you just feel like pure DEATH and everything hurts and everything's sore.
So all this week I haven't been at school.
Which would be okay if I actually went everyday.
But the week before this I only went in on Thursday and Friday because a lot of things happened the weekend of my birthday.
So from here on out, I am making a promise to myself to stop this little bullshit "I-hate-highschool" phase and suck it up and get this last year & half over and done with.
|
|
|
| <3 |
[08 Dec 2006|03:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Runaway Train |
] |
Well I'm sure no one reads these things anymore,
especially ever since myspace became the new thing to do.
But I'm bored and so I figured I'd write something new in this thing.
Damn, reading and looking back on everything that's happened is so weird.
But it's nice to have a reminder of some things.
Let's see what's changed...
I'm still in love with the same boy that I've been in love with since I was five.
My best friend's still Shea Marie.
I got kicked out of Woodbridge, and now I'm at the gayest school ever.
I just turned 17 last weekend, shit was crazzzyy.
My brother's one of my best friends now.
& that's about it as of right now.
=)
|
|
|
| MY cutie <333 |
[10 Apr 2005|12:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Maybe It's just me- Butch Walker |
] |
oh wow... lol
So Today-- i thought it was going to be pretty shitty, and trust me. It was up until... 7th period lol. which is always fun because shea's in the class and we're dumbasses lol. but yeah I left that class at like 1.. to go talk to mr. clarke*My admin.* then i was walking back to class, and turned to my mom and said "ya know what... I dont want to go" so she said alright go get ur stuff and we'll leave.. lol so we did and we went out to lunch which was cool i guess? and on the way back to History SOL review, she dropped me off at the box with like.. shea, kim, keri, ryang, ryan k, ROY~!~*who i def. jumped on and almost kneed lol* uhm chris k, joe, dan, and uh... some other people? lol idk so that was fun then me and shea left for the review, signed in, sat down, and hten left literally 5 minutes later haha <3 so we went and chilled at the box.. oh man good fucking times *the leaves on the tree, monkey- evolution, my efforts to jump on the box, Ant referees oh wow...* haha
but yeah so we drive to potomac, and smoke a jack outside after like 15 minutes of debating lol then we spend another 15 minutes looking for *NUkka* music.. didnt work lol then we went inside.. i showed her around lol i knew like 2 places..? haha thats okay, and oh man those damn doors... haha <#333 so we met matts teacher, then drove shea marie home, after her like 30 minute talk about why we had gum and who took it haha, then i went home, got a shower, and my mom and me went out...
so we went to go try to buy me some new heels, but we didnt, so we went to go get dinner, which took like an hour, then my mom asked me if i wanted to go by and see phil.. which OF COURSE i did.. lol so we walk in and he had the BIGGEST smile on his face.. it was adorable so we went and bugged him at while he worked <3 and OMG my mom LOVESSSS him! it was sooo cute <3 lol but yeah so we stayed for about 20 minutes? then we had to go home, and yeah that was my night <333
I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT FOR THIS WEEKEND!!! <3333333
|
|
|
|
[10 Apr 2005|12:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none.. |
] |
So yeah lol Ashley fixed my livejournal <3 so it's pretty =) and I haven't written in this thing in forever, but since Ashley worked so hard on it I thought I might as well <3
hmm... so this weekend was soo much fun <3
Friday- Brad paisley concert... which was FREEZING! then hotel partying lol
^but I definitely showed mr. stevens a lot about me haha <3
*smoking hoodlum crazk hos* gotta love it
Saturday* NC to ashley's lake house, then her dad's house
Sunday* Jt's house with Phil, ashley, mike, Wesley, and alex.. which is always fun lol
Then ashley spent the night <3
so yeah.. that was pretty much my weekend <3
mm i guess i'll try to write more detailed shit later.. but yeah good enough for now <3 Later bitches
|
|
|
| Note to self I miss you terribly this is what we call a tragedy.. Come back to ME </3 |
[22 Jan 2005|06:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
#9 on my mix |
] |
x. I am: Anna
x. I want: To be able to get the feeling back that I used to have
x. I have: the feeling like I have nothing..
x. I wish: I knew how to make him happy...
x. I hate: feeling alone
x. I miss: being with him..
x. I fear: of loosing everything that i HAD
x. I hear: Boys Night Out
x. I search: for the answers to everything
x. I wonder: if I'll ever make him happy..
x. I regret: taking things for granted
x. I love: spike... & ashley
x. I ache: all over..
x. I always: fuck up
x. I am not: everything that i probably should be
x. I dance: with ashley when im high
x. I sing: everyday
x. I cry: when he makes me feel like im not good enough..
x. I am not always: trusting
x. I write: everyday
x. I win: not usually
x. I lose: most of the time
x. I confuse: everybody
x. I should: fuck idk..
x. Three things you are often complimented for: fucking up *being sarcastic*... still being here, and singing
x. You get embarrassed when: people bring up stupid shit
x. What upsets you: when I have no control of a situation or when i push people away that i need...
x. You keep a diary: no
x. You like to cook: for other people
x. You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: yeah
x. You set your watch a few minutes ahead: no
x. You bite your fingernails: No
x. You believe in love: yeah..
Who is...
x. The sexiest person of the opposite sex you know: the only person that i love
x. The weirdest person you know: idk
x. The loudest person you know: amanda
x. Your closest friends: Ashley is closer than anyone.. & probably lately rico and ben too
x. The person that knows the most about you: Ashley
x. Most boring teacher: uh.. scronce, cho, christensen, anzelmo
x. Your most overused phrase on AIM: idk
x. Last image/thought you go to sleep with: uhm.. most of the time lyrics, or spike
x. Your best feature: idk..
x. Inside joke: alott
Do you...
x. Take a shower everyday: yeah i take like 3, nd then a bath
x. Have a crush: yeah
x. Think you've been in love: yes
x. Want to get married: yes
x. Want any tattoos/where: yes neck and lower back
x. Want any Piercings/where?: mm.. tongue
x. Get along with your parents: Sometimes
x. Screen names: sexibabi1069
x. Sign: Sagitarius
x. Natural hair color: blonde
x. Current hair color: different blondes
x. Eye color: hazel
Favorites....
x. Number: 5,15
x. Color: blue
x. Day: friday or saturday
x. Month: july
x. Song: too many to list
x. Food: idk..
x. Season: Summer
x. Drink: vodka
x. Veggie: idk
In the last 24 hours, have you...
x. Cried: yes
x. Helped someone: no
x. Bought something: no
x. Gone to the movies: No
x. Gone out for dinner: No
x. Said 'I love you': i've said i loved someone to ashley..
x. Written a real letter?: no
x. Talked to an ex?:yes
x. Missed an ex?: no
x. Written in a journal?: no
x. Had a serious talk?: yes
x. Missed someone?: Yes
x. Hugged someone?: yes
x. Kissed someone? no
|
|
|
| How Can I say I love you back, you never made me happy </3 |
[15 Jan 2005|09:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nauseated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
*my mom playing* Goo Goo Dolls- Name |
] |
okay lets see... thursday was okay? i kinda felt like shit because of the night before.. but w/e last period i talked to mark nd nick during P.E. when they were above the gym.. then Mark, Greg, Gary, & some ROTC dude *i forget his name =\* but yeah they came and got me out of the last like 15/20 minutes of class then nick came out of the back room and talked with us for awhile so that was kinda cool.. then the Friday... I actually went to school for a week!! :)
^thats like a new record..
but yeah then.. everything was pretty boring.. 7th period though once again haha here comes mark lol getting me so i can "help with his TV productions project" haha bullshiitt lol I'm helping him out with something so we had to talk :) thenn chad drove me and ashley to my house.. where we talked wtih kyle, aj, and matt for a little then spike & jt told us to meet them up at rippon.. so we went & froze our asses off.. then jt drove us to his house.. then we chilled? lol went to subway, 7-11, and Shell.. and then went back to JTs house and uh yeah... haha I sang "rock-A bye baby" to ashley lol goood times :)
then.. yeah idk we hung out hten my mom came, we went to dinner, and ashleys mom came... then that was pretty much my night
Today-- went to teh doctors at like 11:00 b/c I felt like shit and turns out.. I have and ear infection and branchitus.. =( no fucking fun..
so then we had to drop off my prescription.. came home.. talked to ashley.. then went BACK out to go to pick up my medicine, and go get food.. which of COURSE the one time i go out of the house in sweat pants, a hoodie, hair up in a mess, no make-up on.. lol my ex-fucking boyfriend decides to knock on my window as he parks next to me.. omgg it sucked haha but w/e.. lol "A face only you could love" =D <3 so yeah..
|
|
|
| I swear <3<3<3<3<3<3 |
[11 Jan 2005|02:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i love him <333 |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I'm so High- Three Six Mafia |
] |
mm so yeah.. lol im in SUCH a good mood right now lol yesterday had to be one of the best days ever <3... spike came here nd hten we went to his house and watched jersey girl.. and layed on his bed... and talked <3 mm for like the first time it was just me and him-- no friends, no family <3 i love him soo much it's crazy.. i love the way he stares at me, and how he hated explaining stuff and now he'll just open up without me even yelling at him haha i love how he makes fun of my noises every time i move.. i love how he wears his little gangster sweatpants and shirts haha i love how he gets jealous when i bring up any guy.. no matter who, i love how he always has my side for everything.. i love how he loves me without my preppy ass clothes, or punk clothes, or whatever *scene* u wanna categorize me as.. and how he loves me without make-up or my hair done all pretty.. yet he'll stilll say im the most beautiful girl in the world.. mm nd most of all i love the way he just loves me for me and i love him more than anything <3
|
|
|
| I remember waiting for you to call.. waiting there to find nothing at all |
[09 Jan 2005|10:44pm] |
|
mm so this weekend friday- mall with ashley , amanda, jeff, nd louie? nd some other people later. it was okay i guess ,we talked to some peolpe from likewise so thats always fun.. then i saw troy and hope~ so that was cool? nd ye ah then i spent the night at ashleys dads house with her.. nd woke up at 5:30 the next morning to go to nc.. then she spent the night nd yeah that was my weekend.. <3
|
|
|
| All my life I prayed for someone like you <3 |
[05 Jan 2005|04:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
All my life- Kc and Jojo |
] |
okay so im not gonna get into the past few days but summary// THEY SUCKED!!// but today omg... i got my purse back, me nd andrew are okay friends? AND spike came by and gave me a surprise <333 which is sooo cute lol he made it in construction tech. class <33 mm i love him~~
but yeah so todays going reallyyy good so far, hopefully it'll stay like this <33
|
|
|
| Have I told you lately that I love you <3 |
[01 Jan 2005|05:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Have i told you lately- Rod stewart <3 <3 |
] |
mmk so the past few days.. fuck i dont really remember much.. uhm went to my grandma's saw brittany, then came home, nd spike came over <3 uhm..
yesterday-- dave and brandon picked me up, we ewnt to vans so i could go see ashley nd everybody cause vans closed :(, then yeah it was cool i guess.. we got to go in nd sit by the pool for the last hour.. then we left.. ashley spent the night, we got all pretty nd shit, went to spikes house cause i didnt feel like waiting around for brandon and jason to get here, so yeah.. jt, & ty were there too and his parents had a bunch of people over.. so we just stayed in his bedroom, listened to music and shit, so that was cool, then he got in a weird mood and went outside so and hour later i went out with him, nd then everyone came out lol so it was kinda pointless but whatever.. then i went home, took a bath which always helps.. then me nd ashley stayed up til like 4:30 then at 4:38 ashley tld me my phone was flashing so i looked and it was a sweet text from spike <33 so that made my night a lot better.. then today ashley woke me up nd we went to burger king with matt, then came home nd fucking andrew O'day, called my house nd pretended to be spike.. what a dumbass... then i called spike nd asked him if it was him b/.c i hadnt realized at the time that andrew would be so low as to do that.. but whaatever.. that was a new low even for someone like him, but whatever it was all good me nd spike are fine <333 then ashley left and i took a bath..
|
|
|
| <33333 |
[27 Dec 2004|12:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
Mmm my baby jericho's coming in 2 days!! <3333
|
|
|
| Forget my name.. <x3 |
[26 Dec 2004|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bloody Romance. Senses Fail |
] |
okay so yeah.. mm christmas was okay? me, my mom, nd brother had like our own christmas, then my sister, her 2 kids, nd david came over, nd then me nd matt picked up spike nd drove down to Warrenton to go to my Dad's house nd heard some... interesting stories for like 2 1/2 hours.. lol & then we all came back here, then matt left, nd then we went to melissa's house.. dropped spike off, nd came home, which led to me nd spike arguing...
Today... uhm.. i woke up once again by matt.. nd that sucked.. nd then he left i think or something idk then keri called nd i decided i needed to go out instead of waiting for spike to get home from being with his friends.. so we went to the mall <3 got some cutte stuff.. then i went to her house.. went on a walk nd saw some ppl.. nd then tonya came over.. which was interesting? because jake said she hated me like 5 minutes before she came so yeah great first impression.. then my sister came nd picked me up, nd me her nd david went to outback nd sat at the bar.. nd this guy kept walking by nd sitting across from me lol so that kept me entertained.. nd then i came home got a 2 hour bath.. nd then got bitched at.. yeah tonight fucking sucks...
|
|
|
|
[25 Dec 2004|12:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
She Don't Know She's Beautiful = Alan Jackson |
] |
sexibabi1069 (11:57:47 PM): i think going out with ******, made me realize how much i really am in love with *****.. & all of ******'s faults nd down points made me see how much good stuff there was in ***** that i couldnt see before nd it's weird because i never believed people when they siad yeah u never know what you have until you've lost it, but omg... idk.. its so weird, i just.. feel so right with this person, nd for once i'm like fully nd completely happy nd in love!!
eAst Syde aSh (12:01:37 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eAst Syde aSh (12:01:41 AM): thats the prettiest thing i've ever heard you day
eAst Syde aSh (12:01:41 AM): say*
^^ haha fuck yeah lol see i can be deep nd sweet! =D <3
|
|
|
| <333 |
[24 Dec 2004|07:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bleed the Dream |
] |
mm okay weds. me nd ashley went to the mall~~ saw jason nd doug haha nd met my *hot guy* jeff haha *sigh..* lol btu yeah it was cool stuff.. nd then on thursday matt woke me up nd took me to the mall at like 2:30? nd hten we saw blaine, john, nd jason~ nd me nd troy were SUPPOSEd to hang out but yeah.. never happened :( so yeah.. then today matt woke me up again.. nd then at like 3 spike was supposed to call but never did... but it's okay cause greg called nd cheered me up :) mm yeah.. then shea showed up with flowers <333 nd hten i went to church nd saw my woodbridge guy that ashley gave my number to!! haha btu that's okay.. nd yeah that's my life.. haha
|
|
|
| Let's play doctor pain... <//3 |
[20 Dec 2004|12:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i miss you <//3 |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Buried a Lie- Senses fail |
] |
mmk so yeah.. its monday nd im tired as shit cause i woke up at 4:30, got ready nd shit thinking we had school til 5:30 when we didnt... andrew called at 8, nd my mom woke me up to tell me that!! she's retarded... fucking wake me up that early on my day off.. but whtaever so i went back to sleep til 12 when i got woken up AGAIN!!! now she's bitching about my spanish project so probably soon im gonna leave nd go to josh's house... but yeah
on saturday-- matt and caleb came by.. which was cute.. lol played guitar for me, nd just hung out for a little until i had to go pack then ashley & her dad picked me up nd he drove us to dullis mall nd we met up wtih her friend evan nd went x-mas shopping nd bought me earrings nd her perfume.. nd then saw some hotties haha ;) mm nd hten we met up wtih her dad nd drove back to his house.. nd.. then went to pick up his friend ashley who was cool nd went to starbucks nd blockbuster nd then ordered pizza... nd then LATER.. haha had some **FUN** haha ;) which was soo fucking funny.. nd then later we stayed up til like 3 talking to brandt nd spike.. *sigh* lol nd then the next day we woke up after sleeping in the BEST bed ever ommggg... lol nd then we got breakfast in bed nd dude i felt like a fucking princess haha it was soo awesome nd then we watched harry potter ate cookie dough, nd then ate cookies.. omg i've NEVER eaten as mcuh as i did that night haha
mm i love you ashleey <333333 ndddd January 2-- me & you baby Calico system, the burning system, and Across Five Aprils <333
<//3
|
|
|
|
[11 Dec 2004|11:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I miss you- Incubus <333 |
] |
dude i fucking love chad soo much! haha only he would make a picture like this for me!! lol <3333
|
|
|
| I can't find a reason to let go, but it's killing me to hang on <//3 |
[26 Nov 2004|01:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
I dont knwo what to do anymore |
] |
subliminal3ll (1:30:52 AM): well time will tell.....either it will get better...or itll get worse...or itll stay the same
^^^I hate the fact that only time will tell, & that i have absolutely no control over what is going to happen within the next month or so...
--I hate the fact that people can make stupid decisions and not think about how it's going to effect the people who care about them the most...
--I hate how I have nothing to do/say to make the situation better..
--I hate that all I want to do is say "I love you" and "everything's going to be fine" but I know if I say that then I'm just sugar-coating the situation, because who can even guarentee that everything will be fine..
--I hate that I want nothing more than to take back what happened, and make it my mistake or something I could deal with, instead of having to watch someone I love go through it, and even though it's not me, I'm going through one of the worst pains I've ever felt, so it'd might as well be me..
--I hate that this had to happen.. and how it's not fucking fair...
------------------------------------------------------
For the past fucking 3 days i've felt like shit.. nd i'm soo goddamn sick of it.. I can't eat right I can't sleep right, I can't concentrate right, I can't seem to do anything right...
I just can't seem to get my mind off of what's going on... I mean as hard as I try i just cant... i think this is seriously one of the worst situations I have ever been put in/through in my entire life... even though i know i havent lived long, i think it's fair to say i've experienced and been through WAY more than anyone my age or any age should... And this is probably the worst time for me to be 3 hours away, when i need to be home and dealing with this, even though it's not even my problem, but it's weighing so much on my shoulders.. and I don't know why, maybe I care more than i should or more than i thought... Maybe everyone's wrong who says that it shouldn't be like this that its not my "type"-- I mean who are they to say who the fuck my type is?! when in the first place i dont even know..
I have no idea what's going to happen in my life and I hate that.. I hate not being in control or being able to predict whats going to happen.. I want to be reassured that everything's okay and that this is all a bad dream I'm going to wake up from... I never thought in a million years i'd be dealing with this right now.. and part of me feels guilty for it.. maybe if i hadn't ever been in teh picture things wouldn't have been like this.. maybe thats why I'm putting a lot of it on myself..
Maybe it's all my fault..
|
|
|
| Is it worth it can you even hear me <x3 |
[25 Nov 2004|01:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Amazed- Lonestar <//3 |
] |
okay.. yeah im not gonna get too into it, but i've been really upset lately.. stupid shit is going on.. which sucks.. i found out yesterday.. nd cried for like 3 hours when i found out.. nd then cried all the way down to my grandma's house.. & then today me nd matt went to starbucks nd talked about it kinda nd it just made it even worse... idk waht to do anymore.. =\
|
|
|
| <333 |
[21 Nov 2004|11:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
When I said I do.. <3 |
] |
hmm today i woke up at 7:30 JUST so i could go to spike's game <33 cause im good like that lol but yeah so his mom, zach, wesley, nd spike came nd got me, nd hten we went to tsp, nd yeah the game was pretty good i guess... lol spike got into like 3 fights.. so that sucked nd jt cheered him on lol nd then spike's mom got mad at him lol but yeah <3 it was cool to see him play when he WASNT in the penalty box lol, but they lost 4-5 =( but thats okay :) mmm yeah nd i saw amanda k. so that was cool nd i saw her play for like.. 15 minutes.. nd then i came home, went outside for a little, nd hopefully im gonna go hang out with spike before he goes to work at 3 <3333
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
chokeonmytears6's journal
